


The Nope From The Depths Of Xyolt

by Awsumatid



Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: Alternate Universe - Steampunk, Freeform, Humanstuck, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-21
Updated: 2017-02-23
Packaged: 2018-06-03 13:32:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6612481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Awsumatid/pseuds/Awsumatid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In an alternate universe, Homestuck characters are the people of a struggling earthen colony. I am trying my best to present a very descriptive experience.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> My first fanfiction that I'm writing by myself. I hope you like it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just decided to edit the format real quick- I have practiced writing this some more and I think I might publish a new chapter sometime soon. (also I'm planning to create a comic-style 413 special to be realeased april thirteenth. It's in very early stages though, so don't get too excited about these things.)

Wiping the sweat off his brow, he ventured onwards. The luminescent paint irritated his skin and made him sweat but he wouldn’t dare wipe it off, else he would be sightless in the dark. He spotted the copper wire gleaming in the dark and rushed over to it. grabbing it irresponsibly, he yanked it out. He always forgot to cut it with the tools so he ended up cutting of the ends. Sometimes, it was like he was leaving breadcrumbs to guide him back. Maybe that would come useful someday, but Karkat sure would get mad at him if he noticed that.

Karkat was his grouchy co-worker. He was useful because he knew how to operate the bots, and he kept Gamzee in line. Gamzee was the guy who could do the most hard labor. And John was the guy who salvaged things. He was currently going in to salvage the copper wire from an abandoned tunnel they were going to cut off. They could use this copper with repairing the bots. Copper was running low, so that was a necessity to grab. Maybe they could sell it, too, and get a shipment from somewhere else. Karkat didn’t like associating with earth. He wanted their colony to bunch with the other colonies on Xyolt and Declare Independence.

John doubted that would happen, they still depended on earth quite a lot. If they tried they could be self-sufficient, but they hadn’t been there that long, and some people would just import everything from earth trying to live a life of luxury off planet. But for John, He was born here, and he thought he would die here. His life was not one of luxury, but he found joy in the simpler things. Like Karkat’s rare smile.

John coughed into his mask, It never sealed quite properly anymore, But he would rather have that than No protection. The filter mask was passed down to him from his father, who worked in the mines. It was to protect against coal dust. The mask said clearly to discard after 40 hours, but it was all John had.

Karkat did not understand why John kept a hold of it. He would wash it in the ocean and each time it would wear down more. He would see the black dust in the pumps and think “that’s the stuff that’s not in my lungs.” So he wore it. It stunk, but Gamzee liked it because he said it “smelled like John.” Nobody thought the masks were that important, It seemed nobody cared about their lungs anymore. And there was no way they could get a reliable shipment of them for a cheap amount of money.

John was climbing a tether of copper cable, when it snapped. He fell to a ground, and the sound “oof” Echoed through the tunnel. “You alright down there John? Are you done yet?” called down Karkat. There was still a bit farther to go, but John just wanted to get out of there already. “Yeah, I’m coming back up.” John called back. John’s eyes watered from the dust and gas. It was hard to maneuver, but He got it. He went up the ladder into the world above.

Karkat greeted John as he Popped his head up from the tunnel. “hey sooty buddy. lunch break starts in five minutes, why don’t you go wash out your mask or whatever and we go get some coffee.”

“sure, I need a pick-me-up.” 

John hopped on his bike and drove off to the lakehouse nearby. He washed his mask in the water and hooked it to his hip. Then he washed his face, sighing with relief as he finally got all the paint and grime off his face. He certainly didn’t need to clean up around Karkat. The paint from earlier had dripped to his eyebrows matting them up. John had matted glowing eyebrows the last time he saw Karkat.

Once, Gamzee was shiny because of how much soot and dirt he was caked in. He still smelled earthy for a week. John’s dad used to not understand how someone could stand not showering for an entire day. Sometimes John had to go without a shower for a week.  
His boss was thinking about moving them to dam maintenance, they needed to get stable water set up. The soil they were on eroded quickly, and the farmers were over-farming the soil. John didn’t know much about earth history, but he knew that the Mesopotamians had to leave because that “fertile crescent” was not so fertile anymore.

The air was not so crisp, The pollution was already taking its toll from the earthen landfill that was somewhat near John’s colony. Even though the air was not as crisp as it could have been, It still filled his Lungs and refreshed his mind. John biked over to the diner near the apartment complex which about of a third of the middle and lower class of the town dwelled. It was a hotspot, but the time of day was about 1:45PM, so the lunch rush had passed.

Karkat was sitting at their usual booth sipping on black coffee and humming a tune unfamiliar to John. He had ordered his usual, a broiled leg of whatever they could find to chop up and serve. He said it was fun because often times it would taste slightly different. John sat down with Karkat and His sister, the waitress, came up to ask his order.

His sister grew up on earth, and she came to cheer up her older brother. Karkat didn’t understand how Jade was always so cheerful, even when he berated her. John ordered a coffee with three sugars and cream, tomato soup, and a grilled cheese sandwich.

All of the food cooked from the diner hand a slight singe to them. John didn’t mind, he felt it just made sure it was cooked to safe eating temperatures. Karkat admired how John could be responsible about what he put in his body, but Karkat could never stray from meat. The colony was too new to stray from animal farming, they needed to feed themselves after all.

A lot of the people in the colony worked in the rice fields. Karkat used to work there, and he still keeps a sickle with him, out of habit he supposed. Rice was pretty easy to farm, and so was bamboo. Many buildings were built out of bamboo, and most people ate rice-centered meals. Another reason why Karkat was so fond of the diner.

“Holy shit."

"What?"

"John."

"What!"

"This food is so fucking good."

Jade put her hands on her hips and donned her brightest smile. "Thanks Karkat!"

He glanced at her like a cat protecting it's food dish. "It's probably the best damn cooking on the entire planet."

"It's basically the only thing other than cooked rice, though." John said.

"Thank you for elaborating on my point."

"Is the steak rare enough for you?" Jade asked.

John looked at the meat juice collecting on the rim of the plate and fought back nausea. "It's alright. A little dry though."

John rolled his eyes and sipped his rapidly cooling soup.

"Is there anything else i can get y'all?"

"nah we're good."

"Thanks Jade." John said. Jade smiled and walked back into the kitchen.

Karkat rambled as john zoned out into his sandwhich. "John."

"Huh?"

Karkat stood near trashcan. "Break's over. Hope you had a good "Pick-Up"."

John rolled his eyes and threw away his trash.

Karkat and John Went back to work, and John spent the rest of the work day filling out paperwork. One of the repair bots broke down and Karkat had to try to fix it. Karkat was not really the guy who knew about computers, but he tried his best to fix it.  
Cursing was heard from 3 blocks away, and he ended up breaking the camera on the bot. If someone found out he broke a surveillance camera he would get in trouble with the government, so he searched everywhere for a replacement camera. At the end of the work day, John walked up to Karkat and handed him a camera. Karkat got the bot back to working condition and put it in storage for later use.

John and Karkat rode home to the same apartment building, and said goodnight to each other as they walked into their separate apartments. John Decided he was going to try to cook. His grandmother had owned a baking company on earth, and she taught his dad how to bake. John’s dad always meant to teach him how to cook, but John was not interested. Now It was too late.

John’s dad had left him several things, one of which was a cookbook with all his family recipes in it. It still smelled like his dad. He opened it to a random page and found a recipe for butter cream frosting. He got some sugar, butter, and milk, and attempted to make the frosting. It actually turned out okay, so he went to the diner and gave it to Jade. Jade thought it was endearing how John still wanted to make his father proud.

Karkat got on his computer and played video games until 11:05. He Created a Sim of him and a sim of John. The sims ended up flirting with each other and Karkat face-palmed. Then Karkat played Portal2, cursing at Wheatley all the while.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, two new characters are introduced and a new conflict begins.

    The creaky bus lurched up the winding road towards the lofty building. There were only five passengers on the bus, as to be expected from a small colony, However the passengers hadn't come locally. It was a discharge bus, a Public transportation service that would take discharged prisoners back to whoever would accept them. Four of the passengers would continue on the route, all the way out of Xyolt and to wildly differing cultures. The bus screeched to a halt and the door opened with the pop of a piston. 

"Who's getting off here? Is it you, four-eyes, six-eyes, eight-eyes or no-eyes?" Rasped the Bus driver. 

"This's it. C'ya suckers." Said six-eyes as she rose from her seat. She felt odd getting off of a bus without luggage, but hopped off the bus before it got to her. She looked up at the tall building, which was designed in the latest architectural trend and, stood out like a sore thumb against the shabby landscape that she would have to call home. The entrance looked as though a few Siamese twin horses had ran by a few minutes prior, but she walked up the relaxed wooden steps anyways. 

   Six-eyes pounded on the door in her usual fashion, and got no response. She threw open the door and leaped over the doormat, where she then saw a lavish welcome room with a spiral staircase off to the side.   
  
Snoring emanated from one of several couches. A drooping banner read "We-lcome- Vriska! ☺" in blue. Six-eyes looked at all this and smiled faintly, remembering the days before her nickname "Six-eyes". The summers with Feferi and her gaming friends, when she was Captain Vriska, and wore an eyepatch with seven dots rather than six. She had been thinking of what game to play first after she got back from prison, but she could hardly decide past her excitement.

    Vriska crept over behind the couch on which Feferi was napping and pinched her nose. Feferi woke up after realizing she couldnt breathe and squirmed away from Vriska's hand. Feferi looked up at Vriska, squealed, and hugged her tightly.   
  
"Hey Fef... What's up?" Vriska said nervously.

"Welcome home! I'm sorry I fell asleep... you came so late! How is society treating you? How do you like my colony? Have you tried the rice pudding? What about Jade's Diner? Did you get your stuff back? Did you make any friends? Any enemies? I had a whole party planned for you but they all got tired and went home. How does prison food taste? Oh, can you refresh me on how to tie a boat-knot? Did you have a pen-pal? I have a lot to tell you, too!" said Feferi, having gained a second-wind.

"Slow down Fef... let's see... I came late cause the bus was terrible, prisons are terrible, your colony smells bad, I have not been here long enough to eat, I have no stuff, I made a few friends, My enemy left before I did, Prison food is like play doh, I had a pen-pal and I think she had a crush on me for sure, and just wrap the line under the first arm again forming a figure eight pattern over and around the cleat, Then form an under hand loop and slip it over the first arm you started with.  Pull the free end of the rope tight to firmly secure the Cleat Hitch. and there ya go. Why do you need to know how to tie a boat knot?" Vriska replied, taking more thought than Feferi had.

"Guess what!" said Feferi.

"whaaaaaaaat?" Replied Vriska.

"I caught a buoyfriend! heheh, buoyfriend..." 

"So, you're smooching a buoy? out in the sea? Without me?"

"No silly, a real person. His name's Karkat, and he's a robotics eingineer for the Hyperion Mining Co.- managed construction crew!"

"So. You landed yourself a Construction worker. It's a good thing you're filthy stinking rich. You're sure he's not a gold digger?"

"Well, you can never be sure He's not a honey-pot, but he's as fine as sweet nectar."

"Ew. That was weird Feferi. Don't say stuff like that around me. Hey, got any clothes?"

"I had the tailor make you a dress- white and fluffy like you always dreamed of. It's in your room."

"Pft. Well show me to my room then Ms. IOwnA Mansion."

"Will do."  
  
Feferi ran up to her guest room, her guest following along lazily. "here we are!" she announced.

"I expected more from you. but it's not like I got to build this one, so I'll let it slide."

"Did you know Karkat built his own house too when he was a kid? Before his planet blew up I mean."

"Who's planet did what now?"  
"He doesn't talk about it very much. I don't even know if he talks about it with His best friend."

"Who's his best friend?"

"John Egbert."

"oh I knew a John Egbert from Xyolt."

"Well there's only one here, unless you had an astranged son with him and he's hiding something from me. To be honest I don't think that John likes me."

"I wonder how he's doing."  
  
At that moment, John was sleeping on the job. Karkat glanced over at him time to time, but had been too busy to wake up John. John was having a very nice dream in his perspective. In his dream, he had his arms around Karkat, Pulling him close. Karkat snuggled close to John's bare chest. John smiled.

In the waking world, Karkat had a break from work and decided to wake up John so he wouldn't be so bored. He walked over to John and got ready to shake him. John reached out and grabbed Karkat, who then screamed very loudly. John's eyelids snapped open as he let go of Karkat.

 

"Oh my god Karkat are you okay?!"  
"You just grabbed me!"

"Sorry... Well I'm awake now. What'd ya want?"

"Are you okay John? You've been acting a little weird lately."  
  
John stared at karkat for what felt to them both like a long time. After a long silence, John looked away and said "It's nothing.."  
  
"Don't Fucking bullshit me asshole. Somethings up with you and I'll figure it out regardless of if you tell me so you might as well just tell me."  
  
"Well If you'll figure it out I ain't gotta tell ya. How's that girl of yours?"  
  
"Feferi? Oh right, she was throwing a welcome party for her childhood friend."

"What's this friend's name?"

"Why, are you interested? Her name's Vriska Serket. She annoys me."

"Better not tell your girl that. Come to think of it, I had a... Friend... Named Vriska Serket.. You don't think it could be the same person?"

"pft. John's got a girlfriend."

"Shaddup. Idiot."

"Hey bros lets not argue okay? we can all agree you two love eachother so much that you have to distract yourself with bitches and call it a day, right?" Said Gamzee.

Karkat glanced at John and gave a nervous chuckle. John looked at Karkat feeling very grumpy. John flopped back down and pulled a blanket over his head.  
  
"Goodnight Karkitty" Said John.

Karkat pulled the blanket off of John's head and glared at him. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Just a little cranky I guess. I was having a really nice dream... sorry."

"Well. Okay whatever. Buy me food."

"Okay fine, I owe you."

 "Damn right ya do. C'mon, I bet Jade will make you ramen."

"Ooh ramen~"

"You're drooling."

John winked. Karkat looked at him blankly and dragged him to the diner.

 

Sitting at the diner, Vriska and Feferi were gossiping about Karkat, when Vriska looked up and saw Karkat drag in John.

 

"Well look what the Kat dragged in." Said Vriska.

"Vriska! Hey! Oh my god! Let me go Karkat!" 

"Hey John, I guess everybody is glad to see me, huh?"

"Karkat, this is my ex, Vriska!"

"Ex?!" yelped Karkat and Feferi in unison.

"We used to play video games together all the time. Everyone wanted to be her boyfriend, Only I had the courage." remarked John.

"It's pretty cool to finally meet you after so long."

"Yeah, how've ya been!"

"I went to Jail."

"Oh my god, what, why?"

"Would you believe indecent exposure?"

"I expected something more badass."

"hmm. Well, It was worth a shot. I'll tell ya later."

"Do you still like her?" Karkat whispered in John's ear.

"why would ya care?" John whispered back.

"Because I think My girlfriend has the hots for her."

"are you a beard karkat? I think you're a beard. Or maybe she's a beard."

"Are you calling me gay? You're the gay one John."

"I am not gay Karkat!"

"Don't sound so defensive. makes you sound really super gay."

"I think I hate you."

"it's okay if your gay, dude."

"shut up."

Then they sat down to eat their food.


	3. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After talking to his sister, John takes some swigs and winds up at Karkat's house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ima fuckin scrap this whole chapter and change it

John was  **not** jealous of Feferi. Because Feferi was a nice girl and deserved the nice things she had. What did john do? No, John was just nervous that he'd become a third wheel around his best bud, Karkat. Jealousy was  **not** what best friends did. No, best friends simply moved on from their feelings that totally never existed in the first place. So karkat had a girlfriend. Who even knew? Who even cared.

"Hey John! What are you doing up so late?" Jade called up from the road.

"I could ask you the same!"

"I'm jogging!"

"Ok." John leaned against the railing.

"Hey, Why don't i come on over?"

"Sure."

Jade ran up the steps to John's apartment building. Jade could see the windows of john's apartment were foggy. When she stepped inside it was a strong smell of chocolate chips. Spilled icing could be seen on the tile in the kitchen.

"John.... Have you been stress baking?"

John looks wearily over to his father's cookbook.

"I can't get the taste right."

"Oh John." She said, and pulled him into a hug.

Then, John started hiccuping. He wiped his nose on Jade's shirt and didn't even care. 

Jade led him over to his couch and sat down with him.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"There's nothing to talk about, Jade. It's just the chronic depression."

"So, this has nothing to do with Karkat?"

"Of course not. He's my best friend, why would he make me cry?"

"Why are you cryin' over him?"

"I'm not, Jade."

"Then, Hypothetically. If he did do something to make you cry, what would that be?"

"Hypothetically?"

"Hypothetically."

"Well. I guess the only way I'd cry would be... _if_ I was in love with him an', hypothetically he got a girlfriend, who, you know, would have just met him like, a week ago, but I'd have been right there the whole time... But you know, that's an unlikely scenario."

"mhm."

"and I'd have to be drunk."

" _are_ you drunk?"

"Jade, don't be silly. Egberts don't get drunk."

"uh-huh. How much did you drink?"

he jerked his head in the direction of two empty bottles of wine.

"Not even tipsy."

Jade rolled her eyes.

 


End file.
